How To Support A Dating Partner With Depression
Depression is a difficult illness that can leave you feeling worthless and trapped in a cycle of self-denial and extreme sadness. It takes the joy out of life and makes everything feel like a chore. The severity of depression may vary from person to person, but it has all these things in common, and some sufferers are reluctant to let their partners suffer their grief. While it's hard to support a dating partner with depression, dating experts from serious dating websites tell us it's not impossible. Depression is a chronic physical disease with invisible symptoms and is very slow. For someone who has never experienced such pain, you will never understand how painful it is, but you will learn to look for signs to help your partner.
First, a depressed person may want to stay away from loved ones: this is a very real side effect of depression. Patients often don't feel worthy of being loved because they feel guilty about not communicating effectively or not being happy for their partner. They intentionally or unintentionally distance themselves from their partners, which can lead to misunderstandings that can be very damaging to relationships. Sometimes people with depression may feel angry for no apparent reason or become anxious, causing plans to be canceled and social activities to decrease. Things that are not that important start to get very complicated, and it's all because their emotions are fluctuating.
Second, there are other physical side effects of depression that are not often discussed. Such as lethargy and malaise are common; Insomnia, lack of libido, loss of appetite, and inability to function due to one or more of these symptoms are daily realities for most people with depression.
In the end, they often feel that life is full of challenges. Each challenge is bigger and more complex than the previous one. This can be very frustrating for couples who don't know why their partner is sleepy, sick, not interested in sex, and often not feeling well for days on end.
As someone who has suffered from depression over the years, I've had a few relationships through exclusive dating websites, and in those relationships, I've come up with 7 things to test that might help you deal with your partner's depression:
1. Understand depression Before you can help your depressed date, you need to understand what depression is. Simply put, there are tons of information online about people with depression. Arm yourself with knowledge, and the more you know, the less likely you are to be surprised and the better able you are to help your partner. Don't underestimate the severity of this disease, it can even SAP one's energy, productivity, optimism and motivation.
2. Love your partner Sure, you should do this whether your partner is depressed or not, but you can't overemphasize it. Common tasks and self-care are drudgery for most people with depression, so it's comforting to be taken care of on a bad day. So, you can offer to do something for them, or give them a massage, or do basic chores like washing clothes and changing the litter box. Depressed people can have days when they can't take care of themselves, even though they may still try to take care of others on their worst days, so it makes a lot of sense for your depressed partner to get a response from you.
3. Provide validation It helps to provide validation, for example, by saying something like, "I'm sorry you had such a bad day.""Or" that sounds too hard.""Or" I know you're really tired. I'm sorry.""Or" I know this is a bad day for you."Then say to him: let's cuddle for a while/I'll make us something to eat/I want to snuggle and talk/I'll take care of you now etc. This is a great tool when you provide validation and help.
4. Research drugs and treatments Drugs and treatments are indispensable in the lives of people with depression. If your partner is going to therapy, it's best to check to see if they can still do it on their own, or if they need a ride or your company. Sometimes leaving home for therapy can be painful.
Also, with medications, sometimes you might want to be careful to check that they remember to take their medication. When my partner does this, I don't consider it coddling, but genuinely appreciate the reminder, because I think this is someone who CARES enough about me. Or, if you realize that your partner's depression is worsening, but they're still on medication, you might want to tell them: hey, do you think your medication needs to be adjusted? Can you call your therapist and make an appointment?
5. Distract your partner After you find out that your depressed date is having negative emotions, if they are constantly overwhelmed by the negative emotions, then you need to distract them. You can tell them about your day; Tell them something interesting; Or watch some light-hearted programs with them; Ask them where they want to go; Take them for a walk in the park. You can also save some money, tell them when they are feeling down, and dip into your bank.
6. Don't hide it Don't try to hide it, it will only make your depressed date more embarrassed. If they're having a bad day, they're having a bad day. They don't feel uncomfortable or busy with other things. If they're having a bad day, don't try to pretend you don't know. By covering up, it not only contributes to shame, but also increases feelings of error and shame. There's nothing to be ashamed of. It's just a bad day, not a bad life.
7. Know what not to say People with depression are very sensitive, and it's possible that a single word you say without meaning to make them sad. So remember never to say "cheer up" or "you really shouldn't" to your depressed date. Just as it is impossible to "bounce back" from cancer, no one can bounce back quickly from depression. In addition, depression has been accompanied by feelings of guilt and helplessness. Being told "you really shouldn't have done this" just makes people feel guilty and self-loathing.
Finally, I want to tell you that loving a depressed person requires effort, patience and understanding. It's not easy. It's not even fair. No one will choose to fall in love with a sick person, but people just fall in love with no choice. Depression is a very real aspect of some people's lives, but many couples cope with it well. So, with these tips, I'm sure you can do the same.